Our children most of all need the support and compassion of all of us to help them process this terrible crisis. We need to listen carefully to what they express about what they have heard and seen, as well as what they are feeling. Encourage young children to use art to express their feelings; encourage older children to journal their thoughts and feelings. Remember that children are very good at making observations, but do not have the life experiences to interpret.
Parents need to watch for symptoms in young children such as stomach aches, nightmares, bedtime anxiety, fear of the dark, or clinging. Some very young children may even have magical thinking: that something they did or thought caused the disaster or that they could somehow undo the damage. Older children may develop phobias related to travel to particular cities, planes, elevators or tall buildings. Some children may act out aggressively or regressively. Other children may not appear to react at all.
Model calmness in your response to this disaster. Engage your children in conversation. Be factual and realistic. Do not speculate about who might be responsible for these acts of terrorism. Children might believe that almost anyone around them could plan a horrific act. Depending on the age of your daughter, limit viewing of the continuing coverage. Reassure them that the country is handling the problems and that everyone is working together to help heal those who have lost loved ones and rebuild the buildings that were ruined. Let them know about the support our nation has from other nations all over the world.
Do not focus on safety issues or guarantee safety that isn’t possible. Let them know that they are now safe and plans are being made to make our country and travel safer.
Make plans for your family members to be together for meals and leisure activities. Talk about what the family can do together to help, such as going together to pray for peace and comfort for families who have had losses or contribute resources for those in need.
Increase your bedtime reading time with younger children. Try to reestablish their as well as your own routine.
Please share with us what you observe about your children’s reactions so that we can assist you in comforting them. The counselors will welcome calls from you to discuss your daughter.