Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair, Chair of the Eating Disorders Center of Harvard University and Ms. Jan Johnson, Nutritionist from DePaul-Tulane Easting Disorders Clinic presented an entire day of talks to faculty, parents and students on Monday, December 4, 2000. According to Dr. Lynne Neitzschman, Chair of the Counseling Department, which sponsored the day, it was a huge success.
Their primary message is that children are shockingly vulnerable to the “thin is in” message that emanates from all sectors of the culture. Some fall victim to eating disorders at very young ages. Eating Disorders result in more fatalities than any other mental disorder. Girls by the ages of 8 or 9 are becoming concerned about their bodies and showing dislike for those who are fat. Many of these girls talk openly about wanting to diet. Many of them do. There is definite relationship between eating disorders and our culture.
Steiner-Adair points to the sixties: the birth of feminism and Twiggy as the historical backdrop for a set of cultural messages that have proved devastating to the development of healthy self esteem among women. Only 5% of the population is predisposed to attain the idealized height of 5’10” and sustain the idealized weight of 120. Yet, that vision of the tall very, very slender girl is held as the optimum look by women and men alike.
Parents of girls are more likely to worry about how their daughters look and what they wear. With their boys parents will voice more concern about how they perform. When girls experience disappointment or stress in their lives, the message they get is “lose weight” or “go shopping”; for boys it’s “work harder.” So girls grow up using meeting the challenges of life by focusing on how they look rather using healthier coping skills.
Lookism and weightism fall along the parallels of racism. We all know it is morally wrong to act negatively about someone because of color or creed. Yet in our culture, we treat people who are overweight in disparaging ways. We make assumptions that thin people are happier, more successful and more popular. We need to have discussions with children along the same lines as discussions about other prejudices. It is simply wrong to put down people because of weight.
People judge each other and use weight as social bullying. In our culture, girls and women have been made to feel less worthy of respect and attention when their bodies don’t measure up to anywhere close to the idealized standard. Children should be taught that people come in various sizes and shapes. Children who are teased because of their body size should be taught to respond by saying, “I have feelings and I have a right to be respected. I do not want to come to school land feel unsafe.”
Primarily aimed at the adult community, their challenge, based on years of research, is for parents and teachers to change the messages we send to young children, particularly girls, and to be vigilant about what kids are exposed to in the media. Children need to learn about media bias and understand that models often are not real. They are surgical or technological reinventions.
Steiner-Adair pointed out that girls as young as 6 years of age can develop good or bad labels about their bodies based on comments. They learn to compare their bodies with others before they have the opportunity to learn more significant self-definitions and learn self acceptance. Feeling “fat” becomes a code word for feeling insecure or “wobbly”. She was particularly critical of the amount of interest shown in Brittany Spears by children in pre and lower schools. She said that “Brittany Spears has lowered the age of girls thinking about body, weight and becoming sexually objectified, denying our girls a “childhood.” She pointed to the fashion industry’s term of “prostitute chic” to describe current clothing for 4th to 6th graders.
Both Steiner-Adair and Johnson said that dieting is the worst thing a girl can do. Saying that foods are good or bad gets translated as “I am good” if I don’t eat certain things and “I am bad” if I eat certain foods. Often girls don’t know what a healthy meal is because families are too busy to prepare complete meals or even sit down together as a ritual. Johnson said c hildren need to be taught to each a variety of foods not only for health reasons but for socialization. They will often reject a new food when first presented. It takes 15-20 presentations of a new food for many children to begin to like the taste. They also said that girls who are athletes, gymnasts, skaters or ballet dancers are three times more likely to develop eating disorders than girls not involved in those particular activities.
The overall challenge for parents is to be counter cultural and fight against the messages. Some of those messages are verbal; some are non-verbal or unconscious. Steiner-Adair instructed the adults:
· Don’t comment negatively about your own body.
· Don’t over-exercise.
· Don’t comment on other peoples bodies.
· Don’t compliment someone because she “lost some weight.” We need to help our daughters to focus on who they are as people, rather than what size they are or what they wear.
· Get rid of fashion magazines and check the magazines in the library.
· Don’t label foods as good or bad. Serve balanced meals to children. Present new foods multiple times before allowing children to reject certain foods. Don’t nag them to eat it, just offer it on their plates.
· Teach moderation. How much is too much? Sometimes overeating is a sign of trying to nourish another type of hunger.
· Help girls understand that there are times during pre-adolescence and adolescence that they will gain weight naturally in preparation for another growth spurt. Height and weight are genetically determined.
· Know that often when girls say they “feel fat” they are expressing feelings about something else. Be willing to listen and ask what else is going on.
· Children need to come to school ready to learn by having a good night’s sleep and a good breakfast.
· Set limits and don’t be afraid your daughter will be angry with you because you won’t allow her to wear certain clothes, view certain videos or go to certain concerts.